First ceremony – death of illusions illusions and fear.

Everything happens in the darkness. I feel pain in the body. The pain is paralyzing me. I see all the little things that are the illusions of my life. I see cloths the are tiny is the size, little trousers, hairbrushes… everything is shrinking, all the little girly stuff that you can find in the store… hair, looks… the way I present myself, all the illusions my life… shrinking and disappearing in the darkness. At the same time I feel threatened; I feel that something is trying to kill me. That there is some evil force trying to get me and I’m asking myself „why am I doing this?